Some Random Pictures

I'm holding Magnolia (Hazel's BFF) and Emily is forcing Anson on her. Poor kids...we had so much wine this night. Luckily Hazel was left at home in bed.

Hazel nursing Daddy's beer at an impromptu barbecue at Natalie and Derek's. Hazel also found out this evening that she should expect to have another friend to play with in April! Natalie is knocked up!!

We were graced this week with a visit by Auntie Jen, Cousin Owen and Hazel's new Cousin Lorna. Owen obsessed over the dogs, Hazel obsessed over Owen, Lorna obsessed over boob and napping and Jen and I tried to catch up while maintaining some kind of order.

Gumming Sophie the Giraffe

Hazel's cute-as-hell pirate shirt! Jamie was in Washington DC today and got stuck overnight, so I just took these pictures to email to him in his meeting so he could see Hazel in (almost) real time. Everyone say hi to Jamie in his stupid boring meeting! HI JAMIE!

Millions of Peaches

Peach season is upon us, and Hazel couldn't be happier!

Love This

My Very Wise and Super Cool friend Jaymee posted this entry on her blog, and I think truer words have never been spoken. Specifically, she was referring to her ongoing adventure in the world of surrogacy, on the path to becoming a mother. I think that these items could apply to almost any struggle that we all encounter on the road. Read it with love!

Object Permanence Bites Us In The Ass

I know that it's been simply forever since I posted anything. Frankly, it's been the week from hell. Last weekend, while Jamie was in Vermont seeing friends, Hazel and I took a road trip down to Hull to visit with Ani and Apo, Hazels great-aunt and uncle. We had such a good time, Hazel was delightful after she settled in, and Apo grilled delicious steaks for us which we ate on their porch looking out over the Boston skyline, Boston lighthouse and Massachusetts Bay. It was a beautiful afternoon and Ani and Apo fell head over heels for Hazel Porkpie, of course.

Then, inexplicably Hazel fell apart. All week long she has been incredibly fussy and whiny in the day, and has been waking up half a dozen times at night to be repositioned. Then, my baby, who normally sleeps from 7pm to 6am started waking up at 4am for the day. ARUGH! Is it teething? Is it a growth spurt? Is it that she is trying so hard to crawl that other areas of development have regressed? Hazel only knows because we sure as hell don't. What I do know is that I have been totally exhausted and sick of the constant crying and we are sleep deprived and cranky. Hazel has been inconsolable, unhappy to be left on the floor, but arching and pushing away when held. She doesn't want to nap any more during the day, and one day did not sleep AT ALL! Hazel needs her three naps a day as much as I need a break from it all so we have both been at our wits end. I give her Motrin. Nothing. Tylenol. Nothing. Ice in her mesh feeder and she just screams when it's empty. We are really hoping that this is just a phase that will soon pass. I think it may already be starting to, as she has been napping a little more and a bit less fussy.

Hazel has hit a bunch of milestones in the past couple of weeks, though. All of a sudden, she can sit up unassisted. She doest even need to tripod (hold herself up with her hands in front of her). She has been doing an Army crawl, backwards for a couple of weeks now, but this week she has been able to get up on all fours and rock back and forth. Her understanding of object permanence has grown by leaps this week, as well. I noticed it when I would find her chewing on something I didn't want her to have. I would take it away and where before she would simply move on with a shrug, now there is a full on meltdown. I'm talking a dramatic, toddler-sized tantrum.

Also, I can't turn my back on her. Not necessarily because she is going to get into anything (but she does) but because her separation anxiety is in full swing! Aside from Jamie and myself, she is not thrilled about anyone else right now. She will not be held by anyone until she has been around them for several hours, if ever. Her bottom lip comes out in the most pathetic little pout before she lets out a long, high-pitched whine that becomes a howl. Sometimes, she doesn't even like it when strangers look at her! Its pretty funny, but also pretty tiring for me. When she is feeling particularly insecure, like when she is tired she doesn't even like it when I break eye contact with her for too long. Ill have to get a video of her emotional 180. When I leave her, she falls apart into this dramatic psychic crisis, crying so hard that she starts choking. But as soon as I turn and bend down with my hands out like I'm going to pick her up, she starts to laugh and kick her legs so hard. She is also "talking" more ad more. The exuberant, high-pitched screeching is still her primary mode of communication, but she has started to fit some other, more speech-like sounds in. When she wakes up, she spends a bit of time "talking" to herself and her toys before she calls us in to get her for the day. I love to eavesdrop on her...

Of course, I'm getting crap from the....."older generation" to not spoil her by taking her back from a strangers arms when she is crying so hard she is gagging. Puh-leeze! Like I'm going to let my baby continue to melt down in the most hardcore way in the arms of someone she is totally unfamiliar with, just so they can get a cuddle (even a forced one). Not going to happen. I do know just a little something about child and infant development (shocker, I know), and I know I've been out of the field for a whole 6 months at this point, but I'm willing to bet that I'm still more hip to current research than the folks who look at me soothing my crying baby and say, "Awww....she is a spoiled little baby, isn't she mommy?" I know it's a radical idea, but crying babies need to be soothed. Separation anxiety is not only a normal developmental milestone, but it's a sign of a secure attachment. Securely attached Hazel is! Every time I get irritated, I try to remind myself how lucky Hazel is to have such an attachment, and how strong and independent she will be as she grows because of it. It is a small comfort though, when 72 hours goes by and she won't let me put her down, or look at anything other than her. "I said UNDIVIDED attention, mama!"

In other news, today was Hazel's six-month checkup with Dr. Sleeper. He was very impressed with how strong she is, and how well she can push up and sit. It is pretty amazing. I think that she is just so determined that she will fight through any physical limitations. I do think that part of why she has been so fussy lately is out of frustration that she can't do everything she wants to do. She is very impatient, and wants instant gratification, just like her dad.

Here are the six-month stats!
Weight: 17 pounds and in the 66th percentile
Length: 27.5 inches and in the 86th percentile
Head Circumference: 17.5 inches and in the 82nd percentile

Trying It Again

Just to make sure that yesterday's successful beach venture wasn't a fluke, we attempted it again. This time with a bathing suit and everything! Hazel lasted about an hour at the beach before she had enough. Luckily we don't have to drive all day and pay $25 bucks to park here.

Oh, this again?

Future Sports Illustrated cover.

Wanting to touch it.

Still considering...

Dancing.

Splashing.

Hazel was so brave! She let the waves come in and splash her all the way up to her belly! I was so proud of her, because it must have been a little scary.

A beautiful day.

Hap Birth

Today is Hazel's half-birthday! I can't stand how big my heart is for her! I've loved the past six months so much, she has been such an incredible baby, and I'm going to miss that little baby so much. I am so excited to watch her grow, though and I'm swelling with pride watching her learn and change every day. It's almost scary how much she changes in such a short period of time; every day is something new. I feel so lucky that I have been able to stay home with her and see every little thing because I just drink her up. She has been so much more than I ever could have asked for, more than I ever hoped for. I'm the luckiest mama in the world, and I just can't wait for tomorrow to shower her little self with more love and kisses.

Sometimes I can't get my lips off of her, and I fear that one of these days I will swallow her whole! I feel like my mom-friends and I could sit around all afternoon talking about how delicious and yummy our babies are, and how we want to eat them up! I just look at her thighs and I swoon! I catch a whiff of her and I cant resist it. I actually gave her a hickey the other day. She was standing up in my lap and I looked at that little spot just behind and below her earlobe and I had to have it! I went for it and was giving her loud, sloppy kisses and she was laughing and cracking up, egging me on and I loved it, the sound of her laugh is intoxicating, and I'm besotted! Unfortunately for Hazel, when I came up for air, she had a big old hickey right on her neck. Oops. I cannot be expected to restrain myself though. She is too perfect. Oh, how I'm going to miss these days! I know that I'm going to look back on this time in our life as the most euphoric, and I'm trying to drink it all in but it happens so fast. Hazel, I know you won't remember this time, but let me assure you that I love you with every cell, every thought, every breath and I could just lay in the grass and look at the leaves with you forever.

So, the rain has finally stopped. Everything in the woods has grown to ten times its normal size. The lawns are greener than they have ever been. It has rained for two months. Finally we got some good beach weather, so my little family headed down to the water for dinner and the sunset the toher night. We decided to try Hazel in the water again, since the first time we tried it, things did not go over so well. She hated it before. She touched her toes in the smallest bit of ocean, her eyes bugged out of her head, and her little feet and legs sucked up into her pants so fast before the screams started. We went a bit slower this time, and since Hazel is so much older and wiser now, she handled herself much better.

Considering...

She loves to run her fingers through fringe.

Starting out with feet in wet sand.

Considering...

Closer...

Here it comes!

Not as bad as we expected.

Considering...

If I'm not getting the stink-eye from my daughter, I'm getting it from my husband.

I love the way she is looking at him...

Love.

Another Vermont

This past weekend we were back up in Vermont for our friend's wedding at their house in Chelsea. They actually had a small wedding a couple of months ago at their farm, but this was the big party for all the friends and family. They bought this farm last year together and have been working on it all summer. It's a beautiful 75 acres of mixed orchard, pasture and woods. Erik has continued raising chickens, pigs, sheep, honey bees and has recently added two cows. The house on the property was built sometime in the early 1800's and was down to the studs when they bought it. They have done the most incredible job fixing it up and moved in a couple of months ago.

Let me say that Jess and Erik are perfect. I know it sounds corny and cliche, but they were made for one another, and I could never picture them with anyone else. They are the most amazing couple and are going to have such a beautiful family. If you had told me at my wedding five years ago that Erik, who's antics that night I won't repeat here, would be married to a woman like this I would have called you a damn liar. He has made a perfect choice.

Here is one example of why I think they are so awesome. Follows is the copy from the wedding invitation:

"What's a shotgun wedding with out a pig roast?
Please join us for a night of
Pork, Booze, and Dirty Dollar Dances
**with the lovely Sada D_**
The rest of the dancing will be pretty dirty as well.

Jesse D_
and
Erik A_
Saturday, the Ninth of August
Two Thousand and Eight
Half Past Five O'Clock in the Afternoon

Ye Olde Sex Farm (Our New Home)
Chelsea, Vermont

Expensive Gifts Appreciated
"Don't Bother the Livestock or Poke the Hay"

The best part is that this was printed on formal invitations. I love them. And the pig was delish.

The tent set up at Erik and Jess' house.
The rear of the farmhouse.

The "after" picture! I wish I had taken a "before" picture because you wouldn't believe your eyes.
Falling apart. This was the best picture I got of Hazel and Evan, who was born the day before her. Becky and I found out we were pregnant at the same time last year. They also live in Vermont and Becky's first crush was also David Bowie in Labyrinth.


Just one of Hazel's hilarious new pacifiers.

Hazel was such a trooper. I thought she would sleep reclined in her stroller with a blanket tossed over it, but the band was kind of loud and she was so excited by everything going on. There was actually about four other babies there Hazel's age, and all of them were wide awake at 11 o'clock and all were glassy eyed and exhausted. Everyone was doing laps around the perimeter of the tent with the kiddos in the strollers trying to get them to sleep. You can tell how tired Hazel is by how wonky her left eye is.


The Little Family!


Stacey!

This little camp belongs to Jess and Erik's neighbors. They loaned it to us for the night so we wouldn't have to drive 30 minutes to the nearest motel. This camp was 1/4 mile up the road so we could just hop back and forth and Hazel had a quiet place to sleep at night. Most everyone else was camping in tents on their land, but I hate sleeping in a tent and I think Hazel is too young for that. Next year we will reconsider...

The morning after, a quiet breakfast with the hosts on a lazy hung-over Sunday. That's Erik in the background on the far left. Hazel barfed on their rug three times that morning. *sigh*

Hazel and Estelle, two little old ladies.

Hardy and Laura, also from Vermont. Hardy, inspired by the invitation, penned a song for the new couple titled "Sex Farm". Upon announcing the name of the song to the guests and receiving an uncomfortable silence punctuated by chirping crickets and clattering silverware, Erik informed Hardy that there were in fact two separate invitations that were mailed. I would post the lyrics here, but I would have to reclassify this blog as containing "Adult Content".

A tired baby in a rest stop bathroom the following day. Hazel travels so well that its easy to take advantage of her. We are terrible.

A rest stop at University of New Hampshire to roll in the grass and air out.

Hazel can sit up on her own, using her abs and back muscles to hold her trunk up, as long as I hold her feet for balance so she doesn't fall ass over teakettle.

Proud Mama.

I've never seen a cuter butt.

Some Silliness

Hazel isn't quite crawling, but she does an Army-crawl on her belly. She works very hard to get up on her knees but can't seem to do it at the same time as she is on her hands yet. Any day now. Like many babies, she is moving backwards before she moves forwards, which is incredibly frustrating since the toy in front of her that she desperately wants to get her hands on just moves further way the harder she works. She is pretty mobile now, so I'm not able to leave her to play on her blanket while I run to the bathroom. I've started to build every morning a little pen out of pillows and couch cushions around the edges of her blanket. Soon even this won't hold her, but for now it keeps her contained to a little 3-foot square area for the most part. Every night I disassemble it, and every morning it is built again.

Hazel has recently "noticed" our dogs and she is in love. The little dog Flossie follows here everywhere she goes and Hazel loves to reach out and grab a handful of her fur. Flossie loves to lick her all over her face and Hazel delights in it, but I do not. Hector is mostly uninterested in Hazel, but she loves him. Whenever he walks by she starts laughing and reaching out her arms. When he keeps walking on by ignoring her, she looks terribly let down.

Hazel has finally discovered the Exersaucer! It says it can be for babies from 4 months, but when we put her in it, she just hung there with her arms at her sides, staring at us with the same perplexed expression as her car-seat picture when she was 2 days old. Something happened in her little brain because when we put her in it the other day, she went wild with laughter and grunts and "oooooo"s and "ahhhhhh"s. Then she became very focused and "worked" on all of the toys in bizarre, highly attentive and methodical manner.