I hate writing these updates, especially since it is all going downhill for me. But I cannot stop writing, and I cannot stop this blog, as much as I would like to crawl into bed and never come out. I am compelled to record for Hazel the first year of her life, in all its detail. This is something that is going to effect her forever, and will shape her life and personality. I want her to know where it all started. And that it all started on September 11, 2008. And that the first six months of her life were lived in blissful ignorance and all-consuming love. I know she won't remember that, but Hazel, if you are reading this sometime in the far future looking for some kind of insight into me or you or us, know that the first six months of your life were filled with snuggles, naps, giggles, tickles, games, dancing, singing, friends and family. The only thing I ever want for you is for that to continue. Most of it will, certainly you will remain the most loved child there ever was, but things will probably change from here on out. You wont be aware of it though, and whether its a blessing or not I don't know. All I know is that from your perspective, in your memory, you will always have been someone who's mother has multiple sclerosis. But know that you weren't.