Fourteen weeks and Pictures Galore

Hazel's beach romper for her first day at Crane Beach over Memorial Day weekend.

A vision in terrycloth.

More carseat. Look at the toes!

Memorial Day Parade! Very well attended.

Lots to look at.

A sleepy little chunk.

I am so thrilled by these chunky little thighs. Every night that Hazel goes to bed with her thighs intact is a miracle because it takes all my strength to not take a bite out of each one.

Another hike in the woods on a beautiful morning.

Look at Hazel sitting in her Bumbo seat that Corleigh gave her! She can sit up for a good five minutes or so before she slums to one side and lets out a wail.

"Focus......focus....."

What a nice dress to chew on.

More koi hat.

I had to sneak this one in. I love my dogs.

Our new sunhat. The same facial expression we got with the snowsuit.

Doing yardwork in our jammies, early in the morning with dad.

Snapdragons!

Friends Adventures

My friend Jaymee, and her husband Matt (called Kenya by me) have been friends of mine since I was sixteen. They are incredible, loving people and Jaymee in particular has been so supportive of me over the years. She has simply got to be one of the most big-hearted people I have ever known.
Jaymee has the same issues with infertility that I had, but was not fortunate to have all of the ART (assisted reproductive technology) work for her the way it worked for me. I was lucky, as most of it seems to be a total crap shoot and has more to do with factors that no one understands than it has to do with Medical Science. Anyway, no one deserves to be a mama more than Jaymee. I know that she is going to be the most cuddly, loving, responsive, happy mama there is. It's just a matter of time.
So Jaymee and Kenya are travelling a new road: Surrogacy! It's exciting and scary and certainly New Frontier for her and the thousands of other parents out there who choose this route. Because she has found such a lack of information out there, and even some agencies that are all too willing to take advantage of people aching for a baby of their own, she has started a blog about her process. I know that it will prove to be enlightening and interesting reading, and I also know that anyone that gets to know Jaymee and Kenya (even if it's just through their blog) will fall in love with them, too. You can read about their experience here. Check in often, and I hope that you feel as honored to be a part of their lives as I do.

Aching Heart

Please keep mama Summer in your heart. She is mourning the loss of her beautiful son, Lincoln Ozias who was born on February 6th 2008. He passed away on Wednesday morning at 3:30am with his parents by his side. Please send your love and comfort to Summer and her husband, who loved Lincoln well.

If anyone would like to donate to a fund that we have started in Lincoln's name, there is an account at Paypal that we opened for that purpose. You can donate to the email address summerandlincoln AT gmail DOT com when you are prompted. Thank you.

UPDATE: We have stopped collecting donations and sent the money to Summer. I am so proud to say that we raised over $1,900 for the Rider family. Go, Mamas go! It's a small comfort I know, but it's all we knew how to do. Lincoln Rider will always be remembered by us all, and we were honored that he was a part of our lives.

A Civic Minded Baby

Hazel had her first Ipswich Town Meeting on Tuesday, and it was quite an affair. We stayed until about 11:30pm and there were still several more points of business to attend to. Hazel voted in favor of the Prop 2 1/2 Override and in favor of the new Wind Turbine that will be built at the end of Town Farm Road. This town is going to be the first in the region to harness wind power. "Cut Carbon Emissions, Not Schools!" She fits right in in this tiny, beautiful, progressive, rural town. I'm so thrilled that she gets to grow up in such an amazingly gorgeous little place with the best quality of life in the state. The community here is so tight and it really feels like Mayberry USA but with a phenomenal beach. Lucky kid.

So it looks like the override is going to pass, which is an awesome thing. Almost no one is opposed to it because the high quality if the schools in Ipswich are such a priority in the culture here. I'm so glad that Hazel is going to be in a district that values the arts as much as test scores, and I'm glad that most of the town seems to be on the same page. We're also so excited about our new wind turbine!!! How cool is that?

Anyway, Hazel had her first playdate with her new BFF Magnolia on Wednesday. Noli is three weeks younger than Hazel, but despite the age difference, they already have a lot in common; they both like to fuss and eat. We mostly sat around Laurie and Noli's house, had lunch, talked about stuff and took breaks from eating to poop. We attepted to go out for a walk because it was such a beautiful day and all the flowers and horses were out in peoples yards, but Noli was verry fussy for some reason and as soon as she relaxed, Hazel decided that it as her turn to be a pill box. Overall, we had a wonderful time! It was so nice to get out and about, to see other human beings, and to pass the time with a couple of cool women instead of Oprah and "Dr." Phil. Here are a couple of pictures Laurie sent of the BFF's whooping it up together.

Flipbook of Hazel in her Koi Hat

Birth Photos

Maybe Mother's Day has me all weepy, or maybe Hazel's Three Month Birthday tomorow has me all emotional or whatever. Maybe it's because I just found out that my friend Steve (my first boyfriend ever!) just had a daughter named Sofia Louise and I know just what he is feeling right now. All I know is that I had a sudden urge to revisit my birth phtos, and I realized that I had never posted them on the blog. I think that I considered them private property when they were first taken, but now with a little bit of distance I just want to show them off. I'm sure that not everyone will think they are as beautiful as I do, but I sure am proud as hell whenever I see what I did. I still can't believe the whole thing happened. It was easily the best moment of my life and I've never felt so transformed as I did in THIS MOMENT. I hope that other people are as amazed by this as I am, and I hope that when Hazel is old enough to understand whats going on in these pictures that she is proud of me, too.

Hazel's first picture. I can only imagine what she is experiencing one second out of the womb. She is probably mostly just cold.

I love this picture because my midwife Teri looks so happy and proud, too. Hazel is front and center, and Jamie and I are both seeing her for the first time. I love my hands reaching out.

Jamie reaching for his daughter.

"Ohmigod this isn't real!" were my first words. It felt like a dream.

I love that Jamie and Hazel are holding hands.


And Hazel's first kiss. My favorite picture. It charms me to know that no matter where Hazel ends up in her life, no matter what dirtbag boys she runs around with, that her first kiss will always be from a man who truly loves her more than anything.

The first moments with Jamie and our doula, Lorryn who got me to breathe.

While they were sewing me together again, the lights were so bright and all I could think was that it must have really been bugging her.

Settling in as a family.

Hazel being snuggled.

Soon after this moment, three of the four grandparents practically assaulted a nurse and kicked in the door to the room. I have to say that I'm still not happy about the disruption as it was totally unexpected and not something that I had planned for. I was half-dead, freshly stitched up like the Bride of Frankenstein and was not in a fighting mood. I think that the next time I do this birth thing, I'm going to crawl off into the woods with Teri and Lorryn and not tell anyone where I'm going!

So that was twelve weeks ago today. In some ways it seems as though it was a moment ago, and sometimes it was a lifetime ago. Someday I'll write out the whole birth story for Hazel. I remember it so clearly and in excruciating detail. Easily the most bad-ass thing I've ever done.

Mother's Day

Well, my first Mother's Day was sort of a wash. Hazel and I are both sick with a terrible cold and cough and we have both spent the last few days crying without reason and experimenting with various methods of de-snotting ourselves. I have to say that using the bulb syringe to extract massive amounts of mucus from Hazel's nostrils, then emptying it in the sink, is not exactly my ideal way to spend a beautiful spring afternoon. Since being sick (again) Hazel has been totally off her normal schedule; she has been waking at odd times at night and eating an ounce an hour. She wakes herself up screaming bloody murder, then inexplicably stops. Sometimes she won't even open her eyes. Of course, she has been attached to me 24/7 and will not be put down for a moment. I think we are all going a bit mad. WASH YOUR HANDS, PEOPLE!

So on Sunday we were not feeling great, despite the fabulous sunny warm day and all of the flowering trees. Jamie made me a coffee cake for breakfast and he gave me a black and white photo of Crane Beach. I managed to take a long bath when Jamie took the dogs and Hazel out for a hike in the woods. I also got to paint my toes for the first time in a year! I will not let motherhood turn me into a Dumpy Mommy if I can help it. I have my moments, for sure and I'm far from a glamour queen, but I'll be damned if I become one of those women with four inch grey roots who never gets out of her pyjamas. *shiver* (Here is where I brace for the email, "Dear Madam, I found your blog to be Very Offensive. I happen to have four inch roots and I'll have you know that I am a Very Good Mother!")

Here are a couple of pictures of Ms. Hazel-Don't-Call-Her-Miss. Hazel from this week.

"En Garde!" One of the funnier infant reflexes that will soon be gone.

Hector Fishstick and his baby. Have you ever seen anything cuter? Could you just die?

Jamie's Strawberry Coffee Cake. It's all gone now.

My Mother's Day flowers.

Peonies, Calla lilys, Orchids...I was channeling my Grandma Annie when I took a million pictures of the flowers. She loved Mother's day, and she loved flowers. She was definitely on my mind all day, especially when I caught the smell of lilacs in the air.

I started to feel a little better after my bath, and it was beautiful out so we took Hazel and ourselves out for a big lunch at Zabaglione and we even ordered dessert. Who gets dessert at lunch? I do. We took a walk around town and gawked at the return of all the Summer People and Tourists (you can tell them by their big, shiny, Eurotrash cars in colors like Canary Yellow...and the New York plates are a dead giveaway). We walked along the river and Hazel slept he whole time. The rest of the afternoon was pretty status quo; Jamie did yard work and Hazel and I watched TV and napped. Before we knew it it was ten o'clock and time for Hazel to retire to her car seat ( for maximum snot drainage) and for all of us to go to bed.

Come Out, Come Out Whoever You Are

Someone at Hanscom Air Force Base has been looking at Hazel's blog pretty obessively. I'm talking several times a day, every day. I think that it's time for you to Reveal Youself! Also, to the folks in Hyde Park/ Roslindale who check the blog about fifty times a week, whats up? Introduce yourself.

"Get on the Horn and Tell Them No!"

Eleven Weeks and Nursery Design...a Long One

Balking at generic, pastel-hued romper rooms, style-savvy Boston parents are putting creativity (and money) into their children's living spaces like never before.

Except I didn't spend any money.

Here are some pictures of Hazel's room. I realized that I had never taken any, and considering how much work and thought I put into it, I think I would like something to remember it by before Hazel gets old enough to trash it. I really did NOT want the typical pastel-pink, fluffy girls nursery. I have never been a fan of the color pink (or anything pastel) and frankly, there is no reason for it. I wanted Hazel's room to grow with her, and to be a neural background. Her room is going to serve many purposes over the years and it is a large 13'X14' space that will have several "areas" for various purposes (a reading area, an art area, etc). Most importantly, everything will have a place. I think that it's important for a kids room to be just a more playful extension of the style used in the rest of the house. It should be able to blend seamlessly with mom and dads style, and when was the last time you saw me wear anything fuchsia or a Little Mermaid sweatshirt? I am so happy with the way it turned out. It is so bright and sunny, colorful and fun. Its relaxing when I want it to be and stimulating when it's playtime. It's easy to keep neat and clean, modern, and cool. I loved the article in Boston Magazine because it talks about design for various developmental stages and it is exactly what I was trying to do. Other than the Ikea changing table and crib, and the mobile in her crib, everything is from a grown-up store. And there is no Winnie the Pooh!!! (Click on any picture to see a larger copy.)

The mobile from Ikea (under $3!) over Hazel's changing table. She is obsessed with it!

All of Hazel's nursery furniture came from Ikea and it was $300 all together. The crib converts to a toddler bed and the changing table converts to a dresser.

Hazel's changing table. In addition to Seventh Generation dioxin-free 'sposies, we are also using gDiapers; cloth hybrids with a flushable lining. Genius, and so cute! I will post sometime about the products that we use for Hazel as we try to keep her toxin-free.

Hazel loving on her crib mobile. It consists of changeable cards with graphic, high-contrast images. She talks to them.

I guess if there is a theme, it would be birds. This rug came from West Elm. I love birds as design elements, but I hate them in real life. They have mites and will peck your eyes out. I'm afraid of them getting caught in my hair and flapping. *shiver*

Hazels floor quilt from Grandma Sandy, made from vintage fabric. Adorable.

More green birds. These decals are from blik and are so inexpensive and easy to put up on the wall. When you are finished with them, they peel right off without affecting the paint. They come in a million designs and you can even get custom work.

This is Hazel's Dining Room. The pillow on the glider was embroidered by my Grandmother Anna, for whom Hazel is named. The lamp is an antique that was in the house I grew up in and gives a lovely dim light for night-time feedings. Currently reading: Where the Sidewalk Ends. Currently Listening: NPR: This American Life.

More mobile excitement!

This is a little hand-knit dog-bear-cat-monkey from Sweeters. It's custom made with your kiddos name knit on it and in the colors of your choice. I couldn't resist at only $32 plus a 20% off coupon. It's so hard to find personalized things with her name. This came out adorably, and would make a super cute gift.

THIS! This is the first quilt that my mother made. She was horribly pregnant with me in a heat wave and occupied herself by sitting on the floor and quilting directly onto the big round coffee table. She called it Brer's World after her pet rabbit Brer who is snacking on carrots in the bottom left corner. *Note my parents skinny-dipping on the bottom right corner. Also note my mothers tattooed arse. This hung in my nursery (on psychedelic lime green walls) and I spend hours of my childhood staring into this little Utopian fantasy world. I still get lost in it.

Hazel's crib that she has slept in four times.

I got these cubes from The Company Store and the canvas bins from somewhere I forget. They are on locking casters for easy moving and provide a ton of storage for toys and books. I have always loved the Dwell Baby line of stuff, but I'll be damned if I'm going to pay over $300 for crib bedding. Now that they have a line at Target, Hazel can indulge her champagne tastes on a Natural Light budget with these cute curtains. The photographs on the wall are from our summer hike in Isle au Haut, Maine.

So that's Hazels environment! I'm doing double duty with this post and adding a couple of pictures for her Week Eleven. Next Tuesday she is going to be hitting a HUGE milestone. I'll try to take lots of pictures. This past week has been busy and routine, as usual. We went for a nice walk with Hazel's new BFF Magnolia who we met in our Neurotic Mother's Group. Magnolia and Hazel are two weeks apart and live just up the street so they will be going to school together! Magnolia's mom Laurie is not at all neurotic, and she is even capable of having intelligent conversations about non-baby related things. Glory be!

This past weekend Hazel went to her cousin Owen's first birthday party in Roslindale. It seems like yesterday when we all were getting together to drink and smoke and swear, but all of a sudden there are like fifteen kiddos underfoot. There was minimal drinking, no smoking and silent spelling of swear words. Hazel was quite overwhelmed and slept for most of the party. Owen was spectacular, as usual. That night we had our second soiree of the evening; Aunt Jessica and Uncle Jeremy's joint 30th birthday party at the Kowloon. Jamie and I were exhausted, and Hazel had had it by the time we got there. It was so incredibly loud and crowded at the Kowloon that we just gave the quickest of Birthday Wishes, skipped the mai tai and rushed back out of there. Poor Hazel was a total wreck the next day; she was very fussy and slept almost the entire day right on my chest. She didn't want anything to do with anything else.

Today we are going to lay low and get back on schedule. Hazel needs time to re-attach and rest. She really needs a lot of quiet time to herself each day. When there are so many people passing her around like an hors d'oeuvre platter and talking in her face she shuts down, then melts down. I really need to get better at protecting her from so much stimulus.

I also need to get better about telling people to wash their hands. I thought it was common sense, but apparently not. I don't want to be that crazy lady squirting Purell at everyone who comes within ten feet, but like hell I'm going to end up back in the hospital so someone doesn't get their feelings hurt. It's like this; if you are sick, don't touch my kid. If you have not washed your hands since you last [insert food, child or bathroom activity here] then don't touch my kids hands or face. I have been assuming a basic level of courtesy and cleanliness, but I have been assuming incorrectly, so it looks like I'm going to have to start laying down the law. Also, your kid is adorable and I love him/her, but he/she is most likely carrying something that my kids immune system does not have antibodies for so keep them away. I know it's cute to see a kid handle a baby like a doll, but it's not really worth another spinal tap. Thanks for your cooperation.

Here are some pictures of Hazel being Grumpolina and some of her enjoying the Celtics games.