No Excuses

I have no reason for not blogging, other than the fact that I'm pregnant and exhausted. It ain't easy chasing after a crazy toddler with a sandbag strapped to my gut. And this second pregnancy thing....man, I have no muscle tone or something because I'm carrying so much lower and feel always like I'm ten weeks further along than I actually am. I guess the big news is that we found out we are having a boy, which seems so strange and foreign after having a girl for almost two years. He is an active little guy, just like his sister and we are excited to meet him in February (or, late January hopefully!). Other things happened this summer; it rained for about six weeks straight, we went to the beach a lot and Hazel proved to be as daring in the waves as she is in everything else. We took a vacation in Maine, and spent a week in Vermont. I slept as much as I possibly could. Nothing really Earth shattering. I got a new computer, which has probably slowed me down more than anything. I'm a new convert to Mac, and still trying to figure everything out. I haven't even tried to upload pictures from my camera all summer. I'm a mess! Wondering how realistic this blogging thing is going to be after the new little one arrives.

As for Hazel Porkpie, she is fabulous. Perfect, Hilarious. A pistol. Whip-smart. She is talking non-stop and incredibly active. Her personality hasn't changed, but become so much stronger with each passing day. She is stubborn, single-minded, smart, so happy, opinionated, funny, and delighted by everything. She knows all of her body parts, a ton of animal sounds and learns new words all the time. She talks constantly about cars ("cai") and all the various "cai"s that she sees in a day, and has been a little focused on her and others butts, too. She is getting grabby with her toys, and vocal about her needs and wants. She is incredibly social, and loves to visit with her friends that we still see every week from the newborn group back at Beverly Hospital. She has a lot of friends and a lot of adventures. She climbs everything she can, kisses every animal she meets, and charms total strangers. She is incredible.

We had another photo shoot with our fellow blogger, Kerry Goodwin, too. These are the highlights of the day. You can view some more of the pictures from that day here (link to the proofs at the bottom of the post).

This little monkey has grown so much...

Most Beautiful Kids In The World

I watched this about a hundred times tonight, and it made me cry every time! These are the kids from the PS22 Chorus in NYC. This is why school music programs are so important!

Just Some Good Reading To Share

Dear Pixar, From All The Girls With Band-Aids On Their Knees

Let The Kid Be

...and, for my fellow grown-women/Twihards, this is a great article that pretty much summs up our obsession...

What Girls Want

Enjoy.

Can't Be Contained

I am beyond angry, beyond heart broken, beyond distressed and shaking with emotion.  Elaina Redding was two years old when she died last week.  The button battery that she swallowed remained in her esophagus for ten hours before it killed her.  For Hazel, the battery remained in her esophagus for six days.  Elaina's doctor did a chest x-ray after her mother reported that her daughter had been coughing up blood.  After Hazel's second admission to the hospital following respiritory distress and an episode of coughing up bright red blood, we were told that it couldnt be blood, and that the doctor "wasn't even going to look in [her] throat".  

This poor child, beautiful baby, loved by her family, supposed to live forever, was taken out of this life by something that Hazel and I grazed by.  Something hard, hot, corrosive and terrible brushed us as it moved by and settled in with another family chosen at random.  I don't know if there is a way to express my horror and my sadness.  Please think of this perfect child- running, intact, cool, smooth, alive.

Here is the story as it aired in Philly!  I think they did a great job with this one.  Thank you, Stephanie!

TV Machine

The story,

and the video!!

Hi there friends,

As most of you probably know, I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis back in September, when Hazel was just six months old (though my neurologists think that I have had it for much longer). It was a very difficult time for us, as the future is so uncertain with this disease.  It is easy to imagine all sorts of terrifying scenarios.  I have been on daily injections of the disease modifying drug Copaxone since my diagnosis, as well as taking advantage of many complimentary and alternative treatments.  I'm glad to say that I am in remission right now, but the next flare always is looming on the horizon.  At some point you just have to stop thinking about what the future could possibly hold and start to take action.  I'm still scared for the future, but I'm very hopeful that the cure is right around the corner.  Research is ongoing, and the past decade has seen amazing advances in treatment of the disease.  The MS of today is not the MS of fifteen years ago. 

So, that said, I figured it had been a while since I hit you all up for money and you were probably wondering what I've been doing with myself.  On April 4th, I'm leading a team in the MS Walk in Newburyport, Massachusetts.  Please help by making a donation - large or small - to create a world free of MS. Or, why not join me on the day of the walk?  Become a walker, and as teammates we can work together to raise the funds to make a difference.  Whatever you can give will help! I greatly appreciate your support and will keep you posted on my progress.

Click here to make a secure, online donation on my personal page or to join me, Jamie and Hazel on the day of the walk in beautiful Newburyport! 

Thank you!

National MS Society

Central New England Chapter

1-800-344-4867

http://www.msnewengland.org/

And It Feels So Good

And for those who arent in the know, this is what cupping is all about.

Happy Inauguration Day!

Hazel went to her infant massage class this morning that my doula, Lorryn is doing for a small group of friends, but she skipped her afternoon playgroup at the Ipswich Birth to Three Center so she could stay home and watch the historic Inauguration of President Obama on the tube. She was delighted by it, clapping whenever the crowd clapped (often) and staring with rapt attention at Elizabeth Alexander's poem being read. We are all very proud of our country today!

Here are some pictures we had laying around from the month. We had grand plans to go out to see our friends in western Massachusetts for New Years Eve, but instead we were hit with a big snowstorm and a very fussy baby who, turns out, had a double ear infection and four teeth coming through. So, instead we stayed home like most of New England did. On New Years Day, mama drove out to Stockbridge to attend a four-day yoga and meditation retreat at an ashram. It was nothing short of amazing. I left there walking on clouds.

This was something I had been planning on doing all year in honor of Hazel's first birthday. February 19th not only marks the end of her first year on earth (this time around) but it also marks the day I became a mother, the happiest and most transformative day of my life. Obviously, this year has been full of transformations for my little family; some positive and some not so positive. But they all brought us here, to divine perfection. Being back in Stockbridge is always a bittersweet time for me, too (see the MY CAUSE section of links in the sidebar) as it was the place where I was abandoned and abused so many years ago. Now that place lies in ruins, leaving a wake of scarred adults behind it and right next door is this place of magnificent beauty and warmth where I went for healing. I see everything coming around full circle for me, in a series of circles, series of cycles, always beginning and ending in a New England winter. Sorry to be cryptic, but 2008 was a year of revolution, in the truest sense of the word; back to the beginning with my birth from a clam shell in the sea foam. Hazel will know what I'm talking about, and she is the only one who matters. Viva la revolution! Viva Obama! Viva New England! Viva Hazel and her mama! Viva viva viva!

Another classic stink-eye.

Double ear infection never stopped me!

Taking the T (subway to you out-of-towners) from Harvard to the Museum.

Learning how to wait for the next train with a look of boredom and mild distaste like a true Bostonian.

Making friends at the Aquarium- a doomed relationship.

Why so aloof?

Watching Planet Earth. I had to put her in her Exersaucer because she was trying to climb into the TV.

Using chopsticks at wagamama, the best little noodle house! This is where we like to go when we visit Jamie at his office for lunch.

Amazed

I just wanted to say that Jamie and I are both amazed, impressed, overwhelmed, in awe and so incredibly moved by every ones kindness. Before we knew it, Hazels story was posted in practically ever Mama forum there is on the internets. I am astounded by the number of people praying for and thinking about her. I know she can feel it washing over her, like a cool blue light. I thought that I had lost some of my faith in human kind (it happens every now and then) but this experience of having total strangers who don't know anything about me other than the fact that I'm a fellow Mama have taken time out of their day to think about and wish well for my daughter. It means more to me than anyone could know. I cannot say enough thank-yous.

As for those of you who I do know in person and who continue to send us love, peace, thoughts, prayers, hope and grace, (and Visene, crosswords, chapstick, tissues and trashy magazines) you mean the world to me. Your words are being saved for Hazel's future, like a dowry. This Mama Sisterhood (and dada's, too) will be an inspiration to her and the wisdom and love from you all will follow her into her long adulthood. She will be honored to have so many aunties and cousins all over our beautiful planet. We love you all so much.

Tomorrow Hazel will be going to (hopefully) be extubated and have her NG tube replaced with a feeding tube. It's going to be very, very tricky and risky for many reasons that I'm not going to get into here. Suffice it to say that I was pretty much hysterical after the surgeon left our meeting. I'm very scared about the procedure. Hazel has been doing well, but has still not reached the point where we can say she is "out of the woods", so to speak. I want to pass on the following information to all the parents who read this: button battery injuries in children ages 1-5 are on the rise, much of which is because of those talking greeting cards. PLEASE do not send anyone who has children in the home a talking greeting card! I promise you that it isn't wrth it. Also, PLEASE add a quick layer of duct tape to things like the remote that all children play with, but probably shouldn't. Here is some very helpful and important information about what to do if your child swallows a button battery from the National Capital Poison Center in Washington DC. There is no reason that any other kiddo needs to go through this. I am learning that Hazel's injuries are on the very extreme end of things because of how long the battery was left undetected, but battery swallowing injuries are not as uncommon as one might think.

Love and hug your babies tonight, and think about Hazel tomorrow as she is called on to fight an incredible fight. Courage, kiddo.

Introducing Hazel to Her Rich Uncle, Manhattan

I know we are so far behind with the pictures, but we have been experiencing some technical difficulties. Our old Cannon broke while we were in New York, of course. Then when we got home I had a helluva time getting the old pictures off of the broken camera, ordered a new Kodak camera which took a while to get to us, took a bunch of pictures with it and then couldn't figure out how to get the pictures off of the Kodak onto my hard drive. Arugh! I somehow managed to, but I have no idea what I did. Now I can't get the videos that I recorded to be recognized as video files, and they won't play. It is sure to be a very long process. In the meantime, please enjoy these pictures from the first half of our trip to New York two weeks ago, for our five year anniversary.

Hazel loved the train and did so well! She slept for half the trip and was pleasant for the rest. All of the people that glared at us when we walked into the "Quiet Car" walked out saying what a great baby she is. Well, duh.

Oh the glare!

We arrived in New York the day after the market crashed, and our hotel was right by Wall Street, so of course we had to walk over there and check everything out. I have to say, despite all of the people in these pictures, it was so quiet that you could hear a pin drop... It creeped Hazel out. I was also surprised at how beautiful the NYSE is. The pictures don't do it justice. They are temples to money.

Directly across from the NYSE is where George Washington gave his inaugural speech.

The Waterfalls are an art installation by Olafur Eliasson. We took a boat out to see them up close, but two of them were off, and the two that were operating were dirty and while they were cool, they otherwise didn't do much for me. It was nice to be out on the water though.

Waiting for the boat to take us to the waterfalls at the South Street Seaport.

My impy little daughter. She was so delighted by everything.

Brooklyn Bridge waterfall.

Hazel spent a good ten minutes licking her dads nose.

This is obviously the Statue of Liberty.

We went out for a really great Chinese dinner, but Hazel had a fit and you would be horrified by the high-chair that was brought to us. HORRIFIED.

Apropos to the times.

MoMA! I had been waiting to take Hazel to MoMA since before she was born! I was so excited, because she love museums, and loves looking at art, and I thought she would have so much fun here. But she fell asleep the moment we walked into the museum and stayed asleep until the moment mama stepped foot in the best museum store on the planet on the way out. Of course.

I could have stayed there all day...

Before MoMA, we walked from Battery Park to 2nd and 12th in the East Village to meet our super-cool friend Emily for lunch at this great vegan restaurant. Everyone should eat there. Emily gave Hazel two little books that she adores. One was Good Night New York and one was a beautiful story about a little boy enjoying a snow day in the city. This is Hazel reading her new books that night before she retired for the evening.

And here is the only picture we have of Hazel at the Natural History Museum. Right after this picture, she had a meltdown and went to sleep in her stroller. She also slept through the whole museum until mama stepped foot into the second coolest museum store in the country.

And right after this picture was taken, our crappy old camera broke for good. We don't have any pictures of the rest of our trip, which really sucks because we did some cool things and saw some neat stuff. We walked all over Manhattan, listened to some great music from sitar to acapella, and spent some time with the most amazing friends in the world. Luckily those moments were captured, and I was emailed some pics of them, my family.

Joymala (Hazels Fairy Godmama), Adam who flew in from San Francisco for the visit, Me, Dana who flew in from Long Island. Justin is missing, and I have no idea why he isn't in this picture.

Justin and Adam.

Joymala and Justin. This is how we love each other.

Mama and a sleepy Hazel on our last night in Manhattan, having dinner with friends.

Special thanks to Jesse, Adam's girlfriend and the newest member of our family, for taking the pictures and sending them out. Also for sitting there, sipping her Stella Artois and listening to our outrageous stories of the good old days without judgement and with love and amusement. You are a fabulous woman.

Hazel had such a good time in New York. She just loved all of the exciting things going on all over. Our little country bumpkin was pretty stunned by the whole experience the first day (her first time on the subway!) but settled in quite nicely. She especially loved riding around in cabs without a car seat! She just shrieked and shrieked and wanted to stick her head out of the window like a dog. Our hotel was awesome, even if it was quite far downtown. We had a pretty damn good time, and I cannot wait to go back. Maybe we can make this a yearly trip. Travelling to Manhattan was so much easier than I thought it would be, and I never once felt like a sherpa. Hazel was dazzled by the lights in Times Square (our cab drivers idea to go there, not ours) and has decided that she wants to dance Fosse on Broadway. I can't wait to bring her back.

Happy Anniversary, Jamie! This has been the best five years of my life, and I never could wish for a better partner and father to our daughter. You have been so much more than I though a husband could be, especially in these last couple of months, which would have been unbearable without you holding my hand. I love you and I can't wait to see whats to come. Go Sox!