Countdown

I'm thinking back to one year ago tonight, eating the pumpkin tortellini at Chianti's in Beverly that is rumored to put women into labor.  I didn't even have to place my order- our waitress saw me coming from a mile away and said, "I know what you came here for!"  We had just been to see my OB where I was told my cervix had not budged and the baby had not dropped into my pelvis.  He told me that if I went into labor, it would be unsuccessful, and that I would need a Cesarean, dashing my hopes for a natural birth.  I remember sitting at dinner with Jamie, depressed and talking about how I had been so focused on my estimated due date of February 19th for so long, and here it was going to pass totally event free.  I remember thinking that even if it didn't work, that at least I got to eat pumpkin tortellini with Gorgonzola cream sauce.  I remember I was wearing my favorite black maternity top and jeans.  It was very cold, and traffic on Cabot Street wouldn't stop for me to cross.  It was our last night out together for a very long time.  It was the last time my family was only two people.  It was the last night of my old life.  Cliche, but my last night living in black and white.  It seemed like an ordinary night back then, but in remembering it... it was extraordinary.

Hazel's First Cake at Party Number One

My Family

Three is a magic number,
Yes it is, it's a magic number.
Somewhere in the ancient, mystic trinity
You get three as a magic number.

The past and the present and the future.
Faith and Hope and Charity,
The heart and the brain and the body
Give you three as a magic number.

It takes three legs to make a tri-pod
Or to make a table stand.
It takes three wheels to make a ve-hicle
Called a tricycle.

Every triangle has three corners,
Every triangle has three sides,
No more, no less.
You don't have to guess.
When it's three you can see
It's a magic number.

A man and a woman had a little baby,
Yes, they did.
They had three in the family,
And that's a magic number.

3-6-9, 12-15-18, 21-24-27, 30.
3-6-9, 12-15-18, 21-24-27, 30.
Multiply backwards from three times ten:

Three time ten is (30), three times nine is (27),
Three times eight is (24), three times seven is (21),
Three times six is (18), three times five is (15),
Three times four is twelve,
And three times three is nine, and three times two is six,
And three times one is three of course.

Now take the pattern once more:
Three! . . .3-6-9
Twelve! . . .12-15-18
Twenty-one!. . .21-24-27. . .30

Now multiply from 10 backwards:
Three time ten is (30 - Keep going), three times nine is (27),
Three times eight is (24), three times seven is (21),
Three times six is (18), three times five is (15),
Three times four is twelve,
And three times three is nine, and three times two is six,
And three times one... 
What is it?!
Three!
Yeah, That's a magic number.

A man and a woman had a little baby.
Yes, they did.
They had three in the family.
That's a magic number.

Thinking

I have never been as happy as I am when I'm rocking my baby to sleep at night.  The weight of her in my arms and her soft breath is worth everything in this world and the next.

Hazels Birthday Shoot

So, this mommy blogging thing has certainly put me in contact with some amazing women! Kerry and I have been reading each others blogs for a while now. It just so happens that she is a photographer and she very generously offered to come over to our house this afternoon and do a photoshoot for Hazel's first birthday! I have been wanting to get professional pictures done for a long time, but never got beyond the initial thought of it, and the subsequent mourning over the fact that she has already grown so much and I've missed so many oportunities already. These pictures are beautiful, and I'm going to have a hell of a time picking which ones to get printed. I know this is an ad-free blog, but seriously, if you have the need for a photographer, this is your woman. Just look! You can see all the pictures from her shoot by going to this post on her professional blog and clicking the "continue" link at the bottom of the page.

Hi there friends,

As most of you probably know, I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis back in September, when Hazel was just six months old (though my neurologists think that I have had it for much longer). It was a very difficult time for us, as the future is so uncertain with this disease.  It is easy to imagine all sorts of terrifying scenarios.  I have been on daily injections of the disease modifying drug Copaxone since my diagnosis, as well as taking advantage of many complimentary and alternative treatments.  I'm glad to say that I am in remission right now, but the next flare always is looming on the horizon.  At some point you just have to stop thinking about what the future could possibly hold and start to take action.  I'm still scared for the future, but I'm very hopeful that the cure is right around the corner.  Research is ongoing, and the past decade has seen amazing advances in treatment of the disease.  The MS of today is not the MS of fifteen years ago. 

So, that said, I figured it had been a while since I hit you all up for money and you were probably wondering what I've been doing with myself.  On April 4th, I'm leading a team in the MS Walk in Newburyport, Massachusetts.  Please help by making a donation - large or small - to create a world free of MS. Or, why not join me on the day of the walk?  Become a walker, and as teammates we can work together to raise the funds to make a difference.  Whatever you can give will help! I greatly appreciate your support and will keep you posted on my progress.

Click here to make a secure, online donation on my personal page or to join me, Jamie and Hazel on the day of the walk in beautiful Newburyport! 

Thank you!

National MS Society

Central New England Chapter

1-800-344-4867

http://www.msnewengland.org/

More Playdate Pictures

Have I mentioned that I can't stand the term "playdate"?? And that Hazel is a vegetarian?

Hazel licking that other baby who lives in the mirror.

Hazel working on a slice of plastic bologna.

Hazel working on a plastic strawberry.

Hazel getting her hair did by Kristen.

Continuing to work on the strawberry.

Hazel has successfully crammed the plastic strawberry into her mouth where she can store it for future use.

Hazel working on a strip of plastic bacon.

Hazel about to tuck into a plastic bacon double cheeseburger.

Hazel Versus Cheesy Pasta

PART ONE




PART TWO

Hazel and Friends

As always, Hazel's social calender has been chock full of play. Here are some pictures of her with her friends on a few different days.

Left to right: Beatrice Rosemary, Liam, Anson and Hazel

This is the closest to meat that Hazel is going to see until she can make her own burger.

Playing on the Pilates ball with Liam.

Stare.

Feeding breadcrumbs to the pigeons at the park.

Cute butts. Liam, Hazel and Anson.

Hazel Ana and Beatrice Rosemary

Finally I got them to both look and smile at the same time!

This is Stephen. He came out of the womb with this hair, and he is the sweetest boy.

Hazel and Liam

This is Hazel's Michael Vick chew toy. It is really supposed to be for the dogs, but they would destroy it in a second, so I gave it to Hazel instead. She sort of loves him, and chews on his head a lot.



Liam!

Aura

This is my aura! Cool, right? Yellow and orange with threads of green, and a yellow orb over my chest. When I find the results they gave me, I can give more detail, but essentially these are what the colors mean:

Green is restful, a natural healing energy. All healers should have green auras, they make great doctors! Just being around a person with a strong green aura feels restful and healing.

Yellow is a joyful color, the color of a true free spirit. These people are very generous- they are not attached to anything. A yellow halo is a sign of a true spiritual teacher- Jesus, Budha and the saints all had large, bright yellow auras around their heads. It indicates a person who has found enlightenment.

Orange is a sign of power, and a desire to control people. It can also be inspiring, and can contribute to a yellow halo for a person who has a strong spiritual inclination. Spiritual leaders have this combination.

A Shout Out and Some Pictures

I have to give a shout out to someone, but I'm a terrible person and have already forgotten her name! What I have not forgotten was her beautiful daughter Sadie. Today while looking at a six-dollar scarf in H&M, a woman approached me and said, "Sorry to bother you, but is that Hazel?" Ha! She has been reading this blog, and was touched by Hazel's story. It was so funny talking to her, but she was so nice to come up and say hello! So if you read this, cutie-Sadie's mama, then hi! and thanks for caring about my daughters little throat. I love that.

Here are some pictures I have been holding onto for a little while, meaning to post. Enjoy!

Watching the Inauguration!

Laying her head down next to dada's.

This smile slays me.

Hazels little friend Estelle giving her a bottle. Hazel's parents Ben and Cristina came for a visit, and Estelle was psyched to see Hazel Baby.

Look at them playing together! Like old friends.

This was the rocking horse that my Aunt Audrey got for me when I was a baby. It then went to my brother (Yes! I have a brother!), then to my cousin Michelle, Cousin Isabelle, Cousin Aram, and then back to my daughter Hazel.

Hazel is going to play guitar in an old-time string band.

I can't take any pictures of this kid anymore. She hears the camera open with her dog-ears from a mile away and before I know it, she is ON ME.

Ah. We are trying to make the transition to The Cup. It's going......well.....?

Be still my heart.

I love to sniff her head when she lets me.

Oh! Don't you love the button-flap butt?? Jamie has a matching pair.

THIS is my daughter. I love saying that. Look at those curls starting to come out. Look at her little hippy shirt. Look at her hard at work. I'm having a really hard time with her upcoming birthday. Don't get me started- I don't know that I can even type about it without sobbing. She just looks like such a toddler here.

Annoyingly, this is the best I could do removing the red-eye. This is otherwise the look I see a million times a day when I tell her to stop doing something. She is such a flirt.