More Crazy Pictures

Oh how we have been behind on blogging! Things have been nutty here with yet another gift-free birthday party/ fundraiser for Children's Hospital that we did for Hazel's family, and Jamie's nine day nose-bleed. Yes, you read that right and yes, he has already been to the doctor and the hospital and yes, he is feeling better but things just became a bit messy around here this week. So like I said, last Thursday was Hazel's actual birthday and we put her in her semi-formal tutu and went off to our mother's group at Beverly Hospital that we have ben attending since Hazel was just two weeks old. We then went to our friend Patty's house with some of the babies and ate food and drank wine all afternoon. A good time was had by all, certainly. I'm only now getting around to posting pictures of Hazel on her actual birthday.

The day before her birthday, inspecting the big box that arrived for her.

A pretty fun box!

Starting our new tradition of taking a picture of the birthday girl when she wakes up on her day. This is Hazel waiting patiently for mama to come rescue her from her cage in the morning.

CRANK! PANTS!

Warming up to the idea of a birthday.


Hazel's birthday outfit- semi-formal tutu, "President, NOT Princess" shirt and stripped tights.


The beautiful Jen and Bea.



Snacking in the Neurotic Mothers Group

Playdate/ cocktail party at Patty's- Hazel was on the move the whole time.

Making a snack of Hazel's semi-formal tutu.

I love this picture- Hazel and Sean-Adam getting caught red-handed in the kitchen.

And I love this video! Unfortunately, I only caught the tail end of Hazel and Matthews conversation, and there is a lot of loud chatter in the background, but I caught enough of it to make it worthwhile (at least I think so). They kept this up for some time, "RAW RAW RAW." "raw raw raw." So funny- there was inflection and gesture and everything.

e.e. cummings

i carry your heart with me

i carry your heart with me 

(i carry it in my heart) 

i am never without it 

(anywhere i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done

by only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear no fate 

(for you are my fate, my sweet) 

i want no world 

(for beautiful you are my world, my true)

and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart 

(i carry it in my heart)

...And This Is Now

At this moment I was pushing your body out into the world one year earlier. You are such a blessing. I love every moment of your life, every breath. You have created a million new lives with yours. I wouldn't trade a moment of this year. We love you a thousand times over. And over, and over. For ever and ever.

Proud

This is where it all began...

In early labor on the day you were born.

Transformed

We were still attached

Your first breath, my first look in your eyes.

Your first kiss.

Melting.

Spectacular.

We thought we loved you as much as we could then, but our hearts are bursting more every day of your life.

Swollen, puffy, tired. Quiet alert.

Proud.

Birthday Party Pictures

Hazel love, these are just some of the people who love you! They came from all over to celebrate your birthday with you, and we all had so much fun together.

Christy, our old neighbor in Beverly. In the back is Wally holding Owen.

Hazel's tutu!

Jillian and Nathan

Dino

Janel with Nolan and Adaleigh

This is you, searching for a forgotten pacifier in someones carseat.

Zoe!

Magnolia, your BFF.

Dada, letting you get a taste of his beer.

Your cake! Chocolate with strawberry filling and cream cheese frosting.

Scott and Anson

Jen and Beatrice

Your beautiful, strong legs.

Liam

Thanks to Adam, this is the first time that you walked with support, and you walked all over the house!

Considering what to do with this strange thing.

You sucked on the cake for a while, then just smeared it all over.

Perfection!

Sharing with dada.

"All done!"

With Kelly and Magnolia

Poor Magnolia was begging for cake. She ended up picking pieces off of your arm, and eating off the floor. It was heartbreaking. But the roles will be reversed at her birthday party next month.

Relaxing after the guests left. You were never so tired in your life, but we had to force some real food into you before bed. We forgot to pull out your fancy party hat, so we wanted to get a picture of you in it before bed...

...but you were not amused.

Some of Her Last Baby Pictures

Oh, this child. The moment she turned ten months old, the toddler came out, and the baby receded into the background. But this birthday tomorrow, as arbitrary as it can be, is the final cut- the coup de grâce of her babyhood. Every day she is doing something new. Today she said, "woof". She blows on her food like she is cooling it down. She does "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" with her hands and dances and sways to any song she hears. Even car commercials. She stretches her arms up when I ask, "How big is Hazel?" and I say "soooooo big!" and she cracks up. She climbs all over me like I'm her gym. Today I caught her stacking blocks, two at a time! She puts thing in a container, instead of just dumping them out. She talks to herself. She points to her crib when she wants her nap. This child is amazing, beautifulandperfect.

It's hard for me to be sad about my baby disappearing, when this emerging kid is so cool. It's been such a dramatic year for our family and it's impossible not to reflect on everything that has happened. There is so much to look forward to though that I can't contain myself. I'll be printing out this blog thus far into a hardcover book for Hazel very soon. All of your comments are going to be a part of it. Thank you for being a part of our lives. Thank you for loving my daughter like one of your own. Thank you for all of the love and support this year. Thank you for taking an interest in our little life, for checking in on us, and for introducing yourselves and your babies to me. You are all a part of my families life, and will always be a part of Hazel's childhood.

There are so many things coming up in the future- on March 10th Hazel is scheduled to go back to Children's Hospital Boston for another procedure. The scar tissue in her esophagus has formed a stricture, or a narrowing and she has had a lot of difficulty swallowing beyond purees. It's frustrating, because developmentally she wants to feed herself, but physically she can't swallow anything that she might be able to self- feed. They will put her to sleep under general anesthesia and thread a balloon into her esophagus under xray. They will inflate it to a certain pressure that will tear her scar tissue and hopefully open her esophagus. This is a procedure that Hazel may have to have repeated several more times. Can I ask you all one more favor- will you please think of her, and send us your best, strongst, healthiest wishes? There is still the risk of a rupture of the esophagus, but there is also the opportunity to get her swallowing again without choking, regurgitating and aspirating. It would be really nice for us all to be able to relax a bit.

But there are other things to look forward to- spring is coming, and while we are sad to see this snowy winter go, we can't wait for days at the beach, walking along the river, swinging at the playgroud, exploring in the woods, spending time at the lake in Maine, and with our friends in Vermont. This will be Hazel's first year in the Warren, Vermont Fourth of July Parade and at the Tunbridge Vermont World's Fair. Our CSA farm will be opening for the spring season, soon and Hazel can participate in all of the fun things going on there this year. Hazel will be walking any minute and she is ready to explore the larger world. We are so looking forward to everything that is to come. We love you more than anything, Hazel Porkpie.